Crash into Us by Shana Vanterpool

Author:Shana Vanterpool [Vanterpool, Shana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shana Vanterpool
Published: 2017-12-17T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Gavin

I was impatient.

If what I wanted was right in front of me, I wanted it now, not later. Waiting for her to look at me like she’d once had, like I hung her entire universe, instead of leery and unsure, would be torture. But what choice did I have? She’d built walls around her, and I’d lost all of mine.

She peeked at me as we finished lunch, and barely looked at me as she helped me back into bed. Once alone, I took a few more pills and risked sleeping.

When I woke, it was late into the night. She lay on her side beside me, the covers pulled up tight around her neck. I was freezing, but didn’t dare risk moving. Pain radiated through me like a livewire. The after-effects of my nightmare burned in my blood.

I tried to relax my body, but that didn’t work when every single part of me was tensed. My eyes landed on Jas’s face, and stayed there. I traced her features like she’d dissipate. Her delicate features were so familiar. It wasn’t unlike me to spend hours staring at her. Maybe all those years ago, I knew I’d lose her. Knew that wanting anything more than Jasmeen was a huge mistake. She was all I needed.

My wheelchair was pushed beside my bed where she’d left it. I sat up as carefully as I could, biting the inside of my cheek, and using what little strength I had to get my body into the seat. Pain sweat dripped down my body and face in sheets. I kicked off with my good leg, and used the walls to pull myself along the rest of the way. The moment I was in a room all by myself, I screamed.

I screamed until my throat hurt as much as my body did.

I felt like I was still falling from the sky, and nothing I did would prevent the impact. The idea that I still had a way to fall made me sick. I puked over the side of my chair, and then I lay there for an indiscernible amount of time trying to breathe through the panic of my impending downfall.

“Gavin?”

Her soft voice tore me from my miserable mind. I blinked, finding that I was in the indoor track. The fresh maroon-colored turf of the indoor track taunted me.

“What are you doing here?” She grabbed my hand and moved around, stepping barefoot right into my puke. She blanched, holding her foot up and staring down at me like I was as much of a mess as I figured I was.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered numbly.

Her face broke. “It’s okay, Gav. Hang tight for a sec?”

I nodded, studying the track with need after she left. She returned a few minutes later, her foot clean, with a damp towel in her hand. She got on her hands and knees and began scrubbing, cleaning up my puke after I’d already thrown up on us.

“Makes me think of that time we had a marshmallow eating contest,” she said, peering up at me with a delicate smile.

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