Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects - Steps Six and Seven by P. Bill & W. Todd & S. Sara

Author:P., Bill & W., Todd & S., Sara [P., Bill]
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781592857906
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
Published: 2009-06-02T16:00:00+00:00

Step Seven

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Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

The key ingredient in living the Seventh Step is humility. There is not another subject in the Program that causes more confusion than humility. It seems that every old-timer has his or her favorite definition. We all seem to get humility and humiliation confused, and many of us have a stereotypical ideal of humility—a spiritual pauper wearing sackcloth and ashes.

The Twelve Step way of life is humble but not in any way meek. The picture many of us have of a humble person is someone afraid of his or her own shadow, whose self-image is so low that this person is afraid to stand up for him- or herself. We learn that this image of humility is not what is meant in the Program. We realize that the people who have stayed abstinent for some time practice a degree of humility that was foreign to them prior to recovery.

For those who have made progress in their Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who they are. They have gotten down to their own right size. Humility is understanding that they’re worthwhile. It’s the middle ground between the extremes of grandiosity and intense shame. They have a sincere desire to be and become the best they can be. Today we remember that humility is not being meek. It is being our true selves. Humility for us means staying our right size—and remembering we are as humble as we are grateful. For our definition we will use this idea from Sam Shoemaker: humility = gratitude.

Humility is an attitude. As such, it must be practiced to be maintained, and it must become a discipline to be developed, just like every other attitude. In developing humility, we are faced once again with an “active surrender.” In asking God to remove our shortcomings, we must move and act in a manner that reflects our willingness and surrender. To do this requires

• spiritual values

• service

• perspective beyond our addiction to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, and so on, to the addictive nature of our lives

• asking through prayer and being willing to receive through humility

• trust/asking for help

• overcoming fear

• understanding and trusting the process

• dealing with stress

• responsibility/action

• solution-focused thinking

We will discuss the above aspects of the Seventh Step and find a method for making this Step a foundation for the rest of our lives.

The first aspect of the Seventh Step we’ll look at is spiritual values. Part of this discussion must be a clearer focus on humility. What exactly is humility? The dictionary defines humility as “the state or quality of being humble of mind or spirit; absence of pride or self-assertion” or “acts of self-abasement.” Humble is defined as “having or showing a consciousness of one’s defects or shortcomings; not proud; not self-assertive; modest.” Obviously, the second definition (of humble) is almost a word-for-word restatement of the purpose of the Sixth Step: to become entirely ready (conscious). So if we practice the Sixth Step, humility will result.

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