Home Land by Sam Lipsyte

Author:Sam Lipsyte [Lipsyte, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Humorous, Literary
ISBN: 9780312424183
Google: 3A60pjx8ttUC
Amazon: 0312424183
Publisher: Picador
Published: 2005-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

I RODE THE ELEVATOR DOWN with a famous white rapper in a black mink bodysuit.

“I’m Teabag,” I told him.

“’Sup Teabag.”

“Got the name in school. It was kind of random. I wasn’t even the weakest kid. Vinnie Lazlo had no hands.”

“Happens, yo.”

“That’s exactly it,” I said. “It’s no big thing. It’s just what happened. You have to be able to say what happened.”

“Word.”

“Dig this,” I said. “We delude ourselves to get through the day. Like, I might say to myself, ‘Lewis’—because that’s my real name, Lewis—I might say, ‘you got this life deal under control. Your ship be rollin’ in, kid.’ Or, like, you might say, ‘I’m real, I’m hard. I just happen to be white.’”

“Say what? You know who you’re talking to? I’m hard, yo. Hillbilly hard.”

“Okay, bad example. But you get my point. We delude ourselves. But one day the delusion doesn’t work. It’s like a Chevy that won’t turn over. It’s a cold-ass day and your ride will not turn over.”

“I was with you until the Chevy, Teabag.”

“It doesn’t have to be a Chevy.”

“You best pull your shit together, Teabag.”

The door slid open and the rapper stepped out to greet his retinue. He wove through the room, juking and kissing, bumping bejeweled fists, running his hands on the women, pinching up morsels of satin, skin. When he reached the door he turned and caught my eye, lowered his diamond-encrusted shades. I thought he was going to call to me across the lobby, say something gritty, uplifting, some brotherly admonition to stay strong, or rock steady, or even just stay in school. But he was pointing at me, whispering to his bodyguard.

I found a side door, fled.

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