In God we trust: all others pay cash by Jean Shepherd

In God we trust: all others pay cash by Jean Shepherd

Author:Jean Shepherd
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Humorous stories, Depressions, Americana, Form, Small town life, Short Stories (single author), General, United States, American, American wit and humor, Indiana, Humor, Essays, Fiction, Christmas, City and town life, Christmas stories
ISBN: 9780385021746
Publisher: Random House, Inc.
Published: 1972-01-15T19:59:19.117645+00:00


XVII I SHOW OFF

Flick looked puzzled.

“A Bloody Charlie? How the hell do you make a Bloody Charlie?”

“You mean you don’t serve Bloody Charlies here?”

Flick rummaged under the bar and finally found his Bartender’s Guide.

“Forget it. You will not find it listed in that rag.”

I could see that Flick’s professional curiosity was piqued.

“Do you mean a Bloody Mary?”

“No, I said a Bloody Charlie. Charlie, as in Charlie Company. If I recall rightly, Flick, you were in the Artillery. ‘C’ for Charlie.”

“Well, all right, how do you make a Bloody Charlie?” He sounded skeptical.

“Okay. If you have the makings, I’ll be glad to whip us up a couple.”

“This I have to see.”

“Okay. I will need vodka, which I see you have, tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, and perhaps a bit of salt. And one other special ingredient.”

Flick set the tomato juice, the vodka, the Worcestershire, and a salt shaker on the bar next to two tall glasses. I waited for him to bite.

“Now I suppose you’re gonna tell me I need one a them fancy French liqueurs, or something.”

“Not exactly. Do you have any olives?”

“Olives! I got plenty a olives.”

“I will need four. Two for your drink and two for mine.”

“Why two?”

“It is important that you use only two per drink. No more, no less.”

I poured a jigger of vodka into each glass, filling them with the ice-cold tomato juice, a dash of Worcestershire in each, a pinch of salt; then very precisely I dropped two olives into each drink. A few quick swirls of a red plastic swizzle stick, and then:

“Cheers, Flick. Enjoy. Here are two classical Bloody Charlies.”

“They look like Bloody Marys to me.” I sipped mine appreciatively, smacking my lips loudly, ostentatiously.

“No, Flick, there is a crucial difference. These are Bloody Marys with balls. I have invented it. I call it a Bloody Charlie.”

Flick sipped his for a moment and said:

“You always did have a dirty mind.”

I set my drink down precisely on the bar, saying as I did so:

“No, that is not exactly true. In fact, I well remember when I could not even understand the simplest, most basic obscenity. My innocence led me into considerable difficulty.”



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