Jade Calhoun 04 - Angels of Bourbon Street by Deanna Chase

Author:Deanna Chase [Chase, Deanna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bayou Moon Press LLC
Published: 2013-05-29T07:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

All the buried rejection of my past came rushing back, and I tore out of the kitchen, heading straight for the front door. I’d demanded she tell me about my father, and now that the moment was here, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t face whatever she had to say. It hurt too much.

“Jade!” I heard a voice call.

But I had the door open and crashed through it, my brain a solid mass of old rejection and pain. It was a state I was familiar with. I’d grown up with it, learned to live with it. But during my time with Gwen, and the last eight months of living in New Orleans, I’d thought I was cured of the all-encompassing, soul-crushing knowledge that no one loved me enough to stick around. I wasn’t good enough for anyone. Not Mom, Dad, Dan, or maybe even Kane. We’d only been together a short time. What if he left too? The doubt was there, buried deep in my heart, burning a hole through the delicate fabric I’d woven to keep the fragile organ in one piece.

I turned the corner and flew down the two sets of stairs, aiming for the adjoining door to the building next door. I needed to be alone in my apartment, with my things. Away from everyone who could hurt me. Away from the truth I didn’t want to know.

I was flying up the second set of stairs when I heard the pounding behind me.

I whirled, finding Meri breathless and red-faced. “Dammit, Jade. Slow down, would ya? Even angels can’t keep up with that pace.”

My blood pumped rapidly through my veins, making my muscles twitch. I wanted to strike out, or scream, or run until I collapsed, but something switched in my brain as I caught her staring at me as if I’d lost my mind.

What was I doing? I was supposed to be sticking by her side. It didn’t matter that the only thing I wanted was a moment to collect myself. Not if I wanted to survive this anyway. “Sorry. I had to get out of there.”

Stifling a sigh of frustration, I turned and trudged up the third flight of stairs. Once we reached my door, I produced a key and waved her in.

Two suitcases lined the wall, along with haphazard piles of Gwen’s and Mom’s clothes. My apartment was barely big enough for one person, let alone two. They’d each been in New Orleans for over two months, dealing with my crap. It was another reason Kane and I were trying to push up the wedding. Gwen needed to get back to Idaho to start the spring farming.

Kane.

A tiny bit of the pain in my heart soothed. He wanted me. He hadn’t left me. Not yet, anyway. Then when? The dangerous, self-destructive thought hit and I cringed. When would he decide I was too much trouble, too?

“Jade?” Meri said softly behind me.

I turned, eyeing her with tears burning my eyes. “What?”

“I don’t know what thoughts you’re having to cause such turmoil, but maybe you should change the conversation.

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