My Brother My Sister: Story of a Transformation Hardcover by Molly Haskell

Author:Molly Haskell [Haskell, Molly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780670025527
Amazon: 0670025526
Publisher: Viking Adult
Published: 2013-09-05T04:00:00+00:00

the generosity, even wisdom, of this impulse while smiling with the

superior wisdom of the unbeliever, little suspecting that it would al-

most come true.

After I was born, she kept trying to have another child, preferably a

boy. Or so she said and thought. But did she secretly want another girl she could bend and sculpt, coax like Silly Putty into something with

form and substance? After all, she was an artist— a painter— who gave

it up when she married my father. The paintings were hidden away,

her talent was the madwoman in the attic. We children were her raw

material. If a girl would provide more to work with, being both more

amenable and more of a challenge, might there have been a struggle in

the womb as the fetus, torn between male and female, emerged in a

murky afterbirth of gender confusion? After all, as to my own concep-

tion, recent scientific evidence suggests that that tomboys are “born

that way” due to the mother’s (high) testosterone level during preg-

nancy.

In Williamsburg, we arrive at the negotiation stage. “It’s your book,”

Ellen insists, and tells me I can say what I want to about her (yeah,

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My Brother My Sister

right!), but she requests the veto power over anything that might hurt

Beth or Eleanor. There’s something about secondary rights. I sign it.

Later, we talk about why she changed her mind about wanting me

to write the book. At the request of her therapist, she’s met a number

of would- be transsexuals and they’re all having a difficult time. Some simply don’t know how to make a transition; or they face rejection,

expulsion, estrangement from friends and family. She’s clearly been

moved by the depth of misery she finds. Many simply can’t afford sur-

gery, or even good makeup and clothes. Ellen has tried to do what she

could, encourage them, provide emotional support, even assist them

in buying the right cosmetics and women’s wear. One man, though

convinced he’s a she, refuses to do anything to alter her rough male

appearance. Then there’s the man in his forties who wanted desper-

ately to be accepted as a woman. Dealing with his urges was bad

enough, but he was struggling alone, his large family—

parents,

siblings— having completely abandoned him. At one point, there

seemed to be a thawing. His father called and invited him to a huge

family reunion in the Bahamas, and our guy- gal was beside himself

with joy. Acceptance at last, he thought, until his father called a week later and apologized, saying the trip had to be cancelled. A few months after that, he placed a call to his brother, only to be told by a secretary that her boss had gone on a family vacation in the Bahamas.

As heartbreaking as this story is, I’m grateful in that it has, I think, made the difference in Ellen’s decision to have her story told. When

Chevey told me in 2005 that as Ellen he’d still be the same person inside, and when Ellen told me the same thing, I accepted the truth of it, for

certainly much is the same: the character, the humor, the empathy.

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