Safe Places by Hannah Morgan

Author:Hannah Morgan [Morgan, Hannah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-08-26T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Alexis

“Are you gonna be okay tonight?”

I nodded, staring at the hole worn into the toe of my sneaker. Yet another thing to replace, a never-ending list. Overwhelming. I really needed a coat. His heavy, oversized one he forced me to wear was an immediate reminder of that.

Another day, another night, I would’ve rolled my eyes at his efforts, said something snarky because I was always okay; how dare he say I was anything but?

But the weight on my shoulders was so heavy I could hardly stand, and since he already saw evidence of the real state of my mind, maybe it was okay not to be okay.

“Alexis.” He shifted on the frozen ground of our driveway. “I…”

I swallowed and dared a glance at him. He wore an expression so concerned, so soft, that I couldn’t bear to look at it. My eyes returned to examining the hole in my shoe. Probably could get a few more months out of them…

If I made it a few more months.

I let out a sigh from the very deepest depths of my being, closing my eyes. It was exhausting, this war from within. Was this how my dad felt?

My face flushed, anger and guilt and despair surging through me. Was I going to be just like him? Was he warring this much inside of him, 24/7? Should I give him more leeway?

What would happen to him if I wasn’t here to take care of him anymore?

If I had jumped…not that I was going to. I was just looking, just clearing my head. Every night all week, that’s what I’d been doing. Just going for a walk…contemplating life.

Staring at the dam, at the depth of it, thinking.

Maybe my dad wouldn’t have noticed my absence in the morning, but in the evening when I didn’t come home, he would know something was up. He’d call me and when he couldn’t get a hold of me, then he’d call the restaurant. Josie would say she hadn’t seen me; I hadn’t turned up to my shift. Would he call the police? Would a search party be sent out?

What would his reaction be when he got the call from the police that my body had been found?

Would he take his own life? Would he just give up completely, lie in bed as the house fell apart without me there to take care of everything, until he stopped existing?

My eyes burned with tears again. I could scream from frustration. No more crying!

Wasn’t it enough that I broke down in front of Malachi earlier? Was this what I was going to become, a girl who would cry at the drop of a hat? I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to be fine!

Malachi’s arms were around me again, firm and warm and smelling of his spicy deodorant, and I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Again. Disgust at myself swirled inside my gut, but it was too weak against the tsunami of everything else that has been inside for so long, wanting to break free.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.