Solution Building in Couples Therapy by Elliott Connie MA LPC;

Author:Elliott Connie, MA, LPC; [09606]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Springer Publishing Company, Inc.
Published: 2012-09-06T00:00:00+00:00

Therapist: Suppose by some chance you woke up tomorrow and that in-love feeling you have been describing to me, that glow, was back. How would you notice it? If it just happened overnight somehow, what would be your very first clue?

Michelle: I wouldn't wake up crying.

Therapist: What would you be doing instead?

Michelle: I would be smiling and happy, all hugs and kisses.

Therapist: Which of you tends to wake up first?

Stephanie: I do.

Michelle: Because I work from home most days.

Therapist: So, Stephanie, since you are the first one to wake, what would first give you the idea that something was different?

Stephanie: About her or about me?

Therapist: Either.

Stephanie: Well, probably she would wake up and say good-bye or I love you [when I left for work] or something like that.

Therapist: What would be different about the way she says good-bye or I love you on this day compared to other days when she has said similar things?

Stephanie: It would be an extra minute longer, a deeper kiss.

Therapist: How would you respond to that?

Stephanie: I would return it with the same type of kiss. This is the type of thing that would make me want to do something for her, like bring her flowers or something like that.

Therapist: So, if on this day for some reason you decide to give Stephanie an extra-minute hug and kiss and she responds with an extra kiss, would that be odd to you?

Michelle: Yes, it would be so wonderful. Just the intimacy would be amazing, nothing sexual, but just that closeness.

Therapist: So, if this actually happened, how would Stephanie let you know she had noticed?

Michelle: She would smile. When she is happy she smiles a lot and giggles.

Therapist: So she would be giggling at you?

Michelle: Yeah, she would be giggling a lot.

Therapist: What would this giggle mean to you?

Michelle: That she is happy and that she feels good. The look in her eyes would be different.

Therapist: What would be different about the look in her eyes?

Michelle: She would not be sad.

Therapist: What would she be instead of sad?

Michelle: Happy. She has a different look in her eyes when she is happy.

Therapist: Is that something you would notice?

Michelle: Absolutely.

Therapist: How would you let her know that you noticed it?

Michelle: I would just hug her a little tighter.

Therapist: In what way would these events be different from the way things have been recently?

Michelle: This is so different. When I am not happy and we are not happy, there's nothing. There is none of this. Things are very cold between us. Almost like we are barking orders at each other like, “Get up,” and things like that.

Therapist: Good, so this would be different. So Stephanie, what would be a sign to you as you began your trip to work that these differences were following you?

Stephanie: She would call me and say I hope you have a great day, or maybe we can do something later. You know, an invitation to spend time together.

Therapist: How would you let her know that you were pleased to receive this call?

Stephanie: I would just come out and say it.

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