The Good Psychologist by Noam Shpancer

Author:Noam Shpancer
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781429929691
Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.

Your homework, he says.

The four o’clock client hands him a crumpled piece of paper.

He studies it intently and then looks at her warmly. You are working hard, with courage, he says. You have made progress.

In the beginning it was hard, she says. I sweated, I trembled. But I continued. Anxiety hunter, like you said. You’re right. After a week I didn’t get those feelings of fear.

So what came up?

Other feelings.

Such as?

Ahh . . . sadness.

Sadness, the psychologist says, that’s the feeling that came up. That’s the information. Let’s study it. What do you do with it? Do you run away?

No.

Ignore?

No.

Deny?

No.

Then what?

Embrace it. Accept it.

Because?

Because running away from pain strengthens the pain and weakens me. Because a feeling you try to deny just sticks to you harder, like you said.

You’ve done some work, he says. Very good. Continue one more week, and we’ll see what comes up.

She nods, bites her lip.

I want to turn to another issue, he says. You remember we spoke several weeks ago about your relations with your daughter, Michelle. You told me then that you feel like she is closer to her father, that she prefers him to you.

Yes.

And in the past we also spoke about your attitude toward your job, and you said you feel like you must dance to make money to try to get your girl back.

I won’t try, I will get her back. He won’t stop me, the hooligan. The court will not stop me. The fat bitch, his mom, all her tricks and connections won’t stop me. The girl is mine. Everyone deserves a second chance, and I’m human, like you said. Fully human; not subhuman. Not half-human.

Right. Your heart is in the right place. You are indeed fully human with full rights, including the right to raise your child, and that’s what you are working toward here. And part of this work involves improving your self-understanding. Knowledge is power. Self-knowledge is emotional power.

I’m getting stronger, she says. I feel it.

Yes, and now we need to go deeper. The human soul is complex. Things are not always as they seem. Like cows, that you can’t imagine their complex stomachs by looking from the outside.

She smiles.

You say you want Michelle back, with all your heart.

Yes.

But she’s not with you right now.

No, but . . .

Without getting into the reasons, he intervenes; let’s look at the situation as it is now. She is not with you.

Right.

And you feel as if she loves her father more than you.

Yes, because he has . . .

Again, there are reasons, I know. But let’s remain in the situation as it is.

OK.

And you dance at a nightclub.

I need the money.

Yes, everyone needs money. You bought a new car.

What’s that got to do with anything?

A new car costs money.

She’s silent.

He leans toward her: Tell me then, what am I trying to say?

I don’t know.

He looks at her and waits.

Guess, he says.

I don’t know; I don’t know. She darkens: What do you want? What does this have to do with me? I need to get back on stage.

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