The Influence Effect by Kathryn Heath

Author:Kathryn Heath
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Published: 2017-11-09T05:00:00+00:00

4. Establish common ground

Strategic relationship building is made easier by listening up and learning something about the people around you—and using it to forge an authentic connection. As you work through your relationship map, do your homework and determine what information will help you connect in a win-win way.

Beth, a woman we’ve coached, is a self-proclaimed “Boston-born, Irish-Catholic from a large family, who grew up spending weekends at Fenway Park.” Beth loves to talk about Boston. When she learned that her incoming boss was a Red Sox fan, she saw an easy opportunity to connect—and she seized it.

“The first thing we talked about was baseball, and it was an instant ice breaker,” she said. “It created a real connection and we were able to build a relationship based on shared interests.”

This strategy really works; however, we would argue that finding common ground may be different for women and men. As mentioned previously, research by Deborah Tannen shows that whereas women use similarities to connect, men connect through sports and competition. Although you don’t need to join a fantasy football team to network effectively with male colleagues, it’s important to accommodate gender differences in your networking strategy.

An apt way to make this work is to find out what is important to male and female influencers. Remember, Sharon won over one of her chief detractors by collaborating on a project they both wanted to advance. Be it baseball or travel, find something to talk about or sponsor a project together. Common ground helps form strong relationships and becomes the basis for future influence.

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